How do you react?
When something doesn’t go your way, what do you do?
Here’s the situation.
Let’s say someone makes you mad. They’re pushing your buttons a little bit. Teasing, making fun of, and messing around. It might be fun at first, but eventually, it probably gets old.
There are two choices.
Choice A: React how the majority of people would.
Get mad at them. Yell at them, take it outside, beat them up, give them the crap back.
There are plenty of options to choose from depending on the scenario.
However, there’s another way to go about it.
Choice B: Don’t react. At all.
Instead of continuing the situation and making it worse, just don’t react to it.
When someone is antagonizing you, they’re really just trying to get a reaction back.
I figured this out a few years ago. I would react to almost everything around me.
Sports teams losing, news, politics, weather, work, or video games. If there was a situation I was somehow involved in, I would react to it.
The end result?
Being mentally exhausted in the end. I would become agitated and annoyed. Quick to react to a situation because I felt like I had to. Here’s the catch though, every single situation we encounter, we’re in control of whether or not to react to it.
I know, it’s kind of unfathomable to think about. Not reacting to the things around us? How impossible!
One day, I said this is enough and stopped reacting to every little situation around me. It’s not worth the energy or time in any way. It was draining me.
Let me tell you, it’s worth the effort to stop reacting to everything. It can be hard at first, probably will feel a little weird not reacting to something, but there will be a day where you don’t feel the need to react to a situation.
It’s a pretty great feeling.
All of this called emotional intelligence.
Emotional Intelligence by definition is the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one’s emotion, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically.
In simple terms, emotional intelligence is knowing how you, as an individual, are feeling at any given moment and controlling the emotions to handle the situation or relationships in a correct manner.
For example, ever been in a situation where there was a customer who got really mad about something at a store or restaurant? The situation wasn’t really a big deal at all, but the customer was making a huge ordeal of it all.
That’s the extremely bad side of emotional intelligence. In the situation mentioned above, acting like that is embarrassing. Whatever is wrong at the moment, is it really worth making a scene about it?
Maybe I’m wrong and making a scene about it is worth it. However, anytime I’ve been around a situation like I mentioned, personally it wasn’t worth the time or effort to cause a scene. We’re all at different levels of emotional intelligence though so I can only speak for myself.
Emotional intelligence is a tough thing to learn and get better at. Not reacting to a situation that’s not in our favor is pretty difficult.
There’s a lot that goes into it.
Taking criticism from others, hearing bad news, knowing how you’re feeling, control over your thoughts, understanding other’s viewpoints and thoughts. Day in and day out.
It’s all about how you react to the situation or what someone is saying.
Do you understand what the other person is saying?
If you’re feeling mad, can you control the anger into something productive or destructive?
How do you take bad news? What about the good news?
When someone has a viewpoint drastically different from yours, are you shutting them down because of the difference?
It’s okay to feel anger, sadness, happiness, and disgust towards a situation, but it’s how you react that matters. I still get mad sometimes but I don’t react the way I use to when I didn’t realize what I was doing to myself.
You might be on the opposite side of emotional intelligence and not be so good at controlling your emotions. No one is perfect, but realizing where you’re at is important to make improvements.
Achieving high emotional intelligence will make daily situations with family, friends, significant others, co-workers, and strangers, much easier and not as mentally draining.
It can be a tough road to achieve high emotional intelligence, but it’s a path worth walking down.
Thanks and Be Great,